Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Shark Stories: Surviving the News of a Shark Sighting and Not Dressing Your Kids Up Like a Seal

Stinson Beach, California. Photo credit: Annie Yearout

As summer winds down and the last few weekends that are not dominated by soccer and more soccer are here, the plan was to squeeze in a few last beach days.

And when I say Squeeze, I literally mean squeeeeeeze my children’s bodies into full, neck-to-toe wet-suits ($10/day rental!) for some last body-surfing & wave catching at our favorite, glorious, local, hike-to-it-if-you-want-to beach.

Alas, today’s headline sent to me by on-it reader D.S. put the giant ka-bosh on that 1984-Sunkist-commercial, carefree-Coppertone-vision I’d had…

“Giant great white shark spotted circling waters of Favorite Beach due to beaching of giant, delicious, seen-better-days whale. Water closed for many, many days, people.”

Or something like that.

I bring this up due to a conversation I’d had earlier in August with East Coast family members, discussing the more recent, “frequent” sightings of these massive watery-carnivores on Cape Cod in Massachusetts.

Do we forget that JAWS, the horror movies that killed the water skiing business in the ocean for an entire generation, was filmed on Martha’s Vineyard??

I forget frequently. Denial ain’t just a river….

Anyway, back to the current situation. Seems these great whites are just doing their usual business. Just getting “caught” at it more often with our Google Glasses and hunkier lifeguards...

Which doesn’t make me sleep better at night, so I try to problem solve: with the current neon 80’s trend, couldn’t we shove our kids into wet-suits that are retina-burning, hideous-glow-stick, neon colors so they’d be SURE not to get mistaken as a chubby, spastic sea-lion on a boogie board?

Alas, again, after a quick WWW search… Yup, those teethy creatures called sharks are as colorblind as an early contestant on Project Runway.


So methinks, just as (oh god this is too easy to resist) Heidi Klum has.... that as good parents, when the local alarm is out, we too can be sure that anything that looks like a Seal, acts like a Seal, or sings like a Seal, stays far, far away…. from the ocean, of course….  

Namaste & Happy Swimming! – OM 

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