Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Newtown, CT. Moms & Dads Around The World Unite In Horror & Action


It’s taken me a few days to write. Because each time I sit down at the computer, I find myself composing a letter to the parents of the children slaughtered last week.

My stomach churns even now as I write.

The visceral reaction that I feel. That the whole world feels. But especially we Moms and Dads. Whose every-waking-moment’s purpose is to make our child feel SAFE. From the womb until forever, we carry, protect, calm. From the hand-holding across the street. To the baby proofing of stove handles and pointy coffee tables. To the car seats, ski helmets, seatbelts. To the organic food we overspend on to keep our children healthy, safe. The visceral reaction comes from a deep, cell by cell place.

But these parents of these slaughtered children. There wasn’t any single thing they could have done last Friday with a helmet or an organic carrot.

And it makes me sick.

And it makes me want to reach out and protect the hearts and minds of the Moms & Dads of these children. And say: You did your job. You did your job.

There was nothing else they could have done.

But there is clearly something we can all do now. It is starting. The wave. The action. Protect our kids. Protect our families. Protect innocence.

It is a move towards good public health for the whole nation. As you would care for your own. Get involved.

Here are a few links. Make a difference. 


Namaste -OM


Friday, December 14, 2012

Ski Season is Here! Let Me Tempt You with a Powder Shot, Baby!!!

note: working on rad pow pic, stay tuned....






















Ski season is here. Time for a winter-season redesign with a fresh, powder shot in our face. Bliss!!!

Get out your gear. Find your lost glove. And let it snow, Ma Nature!

Namaste & Three Fresh Tracks to you! -OM

Thursday, December 13, 2012

This Mommy Can Karate-Chop a Mountain Lion But Can’t Sew On A Brownie Patch. Urg!


I Would Chose a Mtn Lion Over a Sewing Job
As a great outdoorswoman, I’d like to think that I could fend off a Grizzly and karate-chop a Mountain Lion if it came down to it. Slice ‘em up and have ‘em for breakfast.

I could saw off my own arm when pinned in a boulder and make it back safely in time for brunch. I could whittle a stick into a spear and catch my own salmon dinner. I could make moccasins out of the pelts of deer-mice and find water in the cups of leaves to quench my thirst.

However, as I sit here, attempting to sew on patches for my daughter’s Brownie sash, and I have come up against my own personal not-carnivorous-animal hell.

The patches are made of concrete. My fingertips are RAW as they push, wheedle, force the teeny, tiny, little needle through the other side.  The hour I’ve already put into this one %@$#$ patch bodes poorly for the timing for the next seven patches. Urg.

I already tried ironing them on. But apparently my ironing-stickiness-skills are about as good as my Brownie patch sewing skills….. every single patch fell off during troop meeting, and my daughters’ patches came back attached in a clump with a giant silver safety pin. The shame!!!!
My "Sewing Kit" -- The Horror!

My girls are getting a kick out of Mommy’s ineptitude in this area. They are seeing that Mommy isn’t perfect and that I can stink at some things. I don’t scoff at these skills, but I am just not very good at them.

The closest I came to instruction about sewing was in Senior Advanced Bio class where I removed the ovaries of a very sweet little mouse and then got to sew her back up, having practiced my surgical knots ahead of time. (Yes, the mouse made it and could now have wild, passionate lady-mouse sex w/no fear of quintuplets.)

And if my, ahem, “sewing kit” had anything to say about it, it would put itself up for adoption immediately. (Craigslist Ad: One sad, tangled “sewing kit” looking for a loving, untangled family…)

Clearly, I will NOT be getting a Mommy Brownie patch for this attempt. The final result after stabbing myself one too many times UNDERNEATH my fingernail is a Brownie sash with somewhat lopsided, pulling, patches placed around it. But you know what, made with love. And that’s the story I’m sticking to!

Namaste & Three Cheers to you sewing people! -OM

Monday, December 10, 2012

Rant: Will Our Banished "Elf On The Shelf" Redeem Himself in Time for Christmas? He Better!

Blink Those Eyes For Once!!!

Late last night I took our Elf On The Shelf and stuffed him into the back corner of a drawer in the kitchen instead of allowing him his usual magical trip back and forth to the North Pole.

“I feel so used!” I could hear him sob as his face hit the corner and little legs folded in beside him.

Used is right. That’s the point, isn’t it?

He’s supposed to keep track of and curb the kids’ behavior with the tremendous threat of reporting back to Santa each night. However, this year, my kids had become complacent as Elf OTS wasn’t living up to his rep as “child behavior modification magic wand” like the packaging had promised. I was having to actually parent and manage naughty holiday behavior. I have no time for this! Am I right, moms and dads???

And so it was time to teach the kiddos a lesson and put a little fire under Elf OTS’s fuzzy little patoot…..

So Elf didn’t show up in this morning like he usually does. The kids searched and looked and peeked and poked and groaned. Luckily, they weren’t listening hard enough to hear his muffled cries from his banished spot in the junk drawer.

What the kids DID find was my hairy-mommy-eyeball looking down on them instead: “Yep, he didn’t come home from Santa’s due to hideous crimes committed during bedtime last night. Flying toothpaste. Illegal room entry. Incessant, grating squabbling! He’s probably STILL talking to Santa right now about how awful you guys were last night!” Grrrrr.

Thirty years from now I may pay for this. Literally. As what little inheritance my kids do get from me will likely go straight to their extraordinarily well-paid therapist – however, desperate holiday times call for desperate holiday measures.

Heads-up Elf On The Shelf!
Elf OTS, if you can hear me in there… man up. Elf up. Whatever. Blink those eyes for once and scare the crap out of my kids. Make an entrance. Show your stuff. Fly around and wreck a few things. Channel a little Leprechaun and modify the behavior of my naughty children! ‘Cause if not, chances are you’ll be the favorite chewy-toy, stocking stuffer of Fido/Spot/Rufus next holiday season. 


Just sayin’…. Ho ho ho!

(Namaste & Three Cheers! –OM)

Friday, December 7, 2012

Mind-Blowingly Busy Moms Need A Laugh


This is a picture of my mind on this 3-kids & a bazillion things to do, pre-holiday schedule. Fa-la-la-la-la.............

If your brain isn't doing this as well right now........please send the name of the:
     a) drugs
     b) meditation
     c) vodka
     d) jugs o' wine
     e) extreme hikes
     or f, g, h) Kama Sutra positions.... that you are doing to stave off this syndrome.

Thank you to friend LF for sending this to me for a laugh-out-loud moment in and amongst the insanity of the season. And thank you to the creative genius from email-forward-land who made this blog possible.

Namaste & Three Cheers to you! -OM

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Who Remembers Ranger Rick? Now There’s Ricky, For The Younger Kiddos!


New Educational Mag for Little Kids 

Did you grow-up nuts about animals?

The magazine Ranger Rick, published by the National Wildlife Federation, has been around for 50 years for kids ages 7-12. Now they’ve just come out with a Junior series for the littler folk, 4-7 years old, called Ranger Rick Jr., featuring a rascally Ricky Raccoon as their mascot. 

I wonder if that’s who got into our garbage can last night. $#$#@#@, Ricky!!!!!!

And, halleluiah, parents! For those dinners at nice restaurants and endless airplane trips, Ricky even has his own iPad App called “Ranger Rick Jr. Appventures” – a digital storybook focusing on a single animal each time. Healthy, good-for-them screen time….. (right?)

Adopt An Armadillo at NWF!
I love the National Wildlife Federation. From Ranger Rick from my childhood, to the snazzy new Ranger Rick Jr. and it’s new App, to the Adoption Center that NWF has on it’s website: Adopt an Alligator. Adopt a Tree Monkey. Adopt a Sloth!.... 

It’s a worthy cause to support, and a fun and informative gift for the animal lover in you to share with your kiddo.

Check it out!

Namaste & Three Cheers! -OM






Monday, December 3, 2012

Cool New Kayak Idea – Check This Origami Kayak Out, Adventurers!



Super Cool Foldable Kayak Fits In Your Closet & Floats Too!
I went to the IDEO Winter Faire in the city last week so I could pretend to be REALLY COOL and hip and get out of my fatty pants covered in dog hair for a while. 

It’s the kind of holiday shopping craft fair that is NOT filled with grandma’s lace doilies and knit covers for your jam jars. (Though god bless those grandmas!) This place was full of fresh, IQ-brilliant innovators, hawking their goods. Including the super cool, super creative, super practical: Origami Kayak.

This is not a cute, little, 2 inch long kayak ornament for your Charlie Brown Tree. This is a 12 foot long, water floating with human being inside, real sized kayak – that then, when you un-snap the snaps, folds up like a giant piece of origami paper into a portfolio looking size box that has a carrying strap. Which then gets easily thrown into the back of your Prius, mini-van, monster truck with all the strollers, groceries, wet black labradors, and kids.

Possibly a perfect, perfect, PERFECT toy for space challenged kayak-enthusiast, outdoorsy folk without endless storage space… like most of us!

There are so many more cool details about their story and the construction that you can find on their website. It’s worth checking out Oru Kayak. Even just for the awesomeness of the innovation. Rock on smart, kayak-design people!

And check out their video (and their Kickstarter campaign.) My favorite, laugh-out-loud moment, is the gal carrying the kayak in the Subway in her black dress and make-up. Hoo! Video of Origami Kayak Design

Now, en fin, I’m looking forward to their next project. I propose an origami husband.

Namaste & Three Cheers to you all! -OM